The single most important thing you can do to cope well with your withdrawal is to not resist the symptoms and to accept them as a necessary path to and part of your recovery journey. You must remind yourself that what is happening is normal and that like the many people before you, the symptoms will eventually disappear and you will recover. It just does not make sense to be constantly struggling against what is happening (your nervous system healing). It is unrealistic and it compounds matters, causing immense stress, which in turn can make the symptoms even more intense.
Accepting the presence of the symptoms doesn’t necessarily mean you are in a zen-like state, smiling happily and affirming that you are healing! 🙂 It just means that you have realized there is nothing you can do but wait for the healing to be completed. And that no amount of resistance will change the fact that this is a “time” issue and that patience is key… along with the acceptance and normalizing!
The following is an excerpt from the Recovery and Renewal book, which I believe to be most important.
“For some people, acceptance implies giving up, resignation or failure. In your world, however, acceptance means less distress and minimal anxiety. It is the difference between barely surviving withdrawal and coping well. Imagine that you are on your way home. You know without doubt that you will arrive. You look ahead and notice there is a massive traffic jam. You are stuck. There is no way out but through. All you can do is resign yourself to waiting. This is withdrawal.
If you can apply the same approach to your symptoms, you will fare much better than if you try to direct or control how your recovery process unfolds. As you become aware of your symptoms, try to go with the feelings without struggling or attempting to stop them. You may not be able to do this easily at first, but as you learn to observe your body’s physiological reactions, you will find that you can make a mental note of what is happening without letting the fear overcome you. Even if your anxiety levels are extremely high, you can simply surrender; resolve to do nothing but be with the feeling of your hands shaking, heart beating fast, agitation or however it manifests.
Whenever I had an intense feeling of fear or impending doom, I would take deep breaths and talk myself through it without resisting: ‘Okay, here we go again; it’s back. Ah well, at least I know what it is. Hmm… Feels like I’m petrified but I’m not really. Gosh, look how shaky I am. This is normal. I don’t need to do anything. I know what it is and it will soon pass.’ It works; just don’t fight it.
You are not going to stop breathing, faint, fall or die as much as it may feel that way. When you think that as intense as the feeling is, you have had it before and it has never caused any harm. Whatever you feared might happen, did not. You can use this to reassure yourself that as terrified as you may be feeling while it is happening, you are going to be okay. Breathe and repeat.
It can take time and practice to become fully accepting. You may occasionally still resist the symptoms. This is normal as it is instinctive behaviour to struggle when a threat is perceived. The key is to not give up or become impatient with yourself when this happens.
Try to see your symptoms as little inconveniences – the cars ahead of you in the traffic. You will soon notice that even if at first you do give in and fight a particular symptom, with practice you will eventually be able to choose how you respond. Yes, you are stuck with annoying and sometimes frightening symptoms, but it is only a temporary setback. You will make it home to recovery.
Withdrawal is literally healing in action. If you are able to acknowledge each symptom, no matter how disturbing, as necessary – evidence that your nervous system is recovering – you will be able to truly accept them. As some say when new symptoms appear or old ones resurface, ‘So this is what it feels like to heal.”
Please visit this page regularly. It is acceptance that will help to create a sense of “peace” or at the very least allow you to release the struggle and minimize stress. John Kabat-Zinn said of acceptance: “Acceptance is a very active process, there is nothing passive about it, it’s not passive resignation but an act of recognition that things are the way they are.”
