Valentine’s Day and thoughts of love can bring up all sorts of emotions, especially for those navigating the challenges of withdrawal and PAWS/ABIND. When you’re facing uncertainty, discomfort, and feelings of disconnect, the idea of dating or finding love might feel distant, even impossible. Yet, I want to remind you that love is never out of reach, and when the timing is right, it has a way of finding us.
This healing experience can be isolating and it’s easy to feel like life is passing you by while you focus on coping and getting through each ‘Groundhog’ day. You may wonder if you will ever be able to connect with someone, if a future with love and companionship is still possible. But healing is not just about the body. It’s also about rediscovering yourself, your worth, and the capacity for love in all its forms.
If you are single and feeling alone, know that love is not just romantic. It is found in the kindness of a friend, in the comfort of a pet, in the deep self-compassion you offer yourself each day. The more you nurture yourself, the more you align with the love you truly deserve.
For those wondering if they should date during withdrawal, there is no right or wrong answer. As some of you know, I often joke about what it would be like as a couple healing from this and how we could imagine one person saying to the other, “Why are you looking at me like that? You triggered me!” and “No, YOU triggered me!” being the reply. (I don’t like the word `triggered`’ but I imagine it could be used often in such a relationship.) What with the emotional dysregulation, neuro emotions, and other signs of healing/symptoms. Some find comfort and support in companionship, while others choose to wait until they feel more stable. Honour where you are. Love does not have a deadline, and when the timing is right, you will step into connection with a heart that is wiser, stronger, more compassionate, and more open than before.
So today, whether you are alone or with someone, whether you feel ready for love or not, remember that you are deeply worthy of love… a love that is patient, understanding, and true. And when the time comes, love will meet you where you are, and you will be ready.
In the meantime, be gentle with yourself. Hold space for hope and trust that Love will find its way to you. It is already in your heart and that means it is never far away.
With much compassion,