Having to care for someone day after day, month after month, especially dealing with a condition as complex and problematic as withdrawal, can take its toll.

In your case, it does not help that you may have very little support in terms of professionals who understand the dynamics of withdrawal and are able to give good guidance and support. Your loved one may be receiving sub-standard care as a result of this lack of awareness and knowledge, and that in turn will affect you and your confidence that you are providing the best possible support.

Over the years I have seen so many family members and other caregivers become fatigued and burnt-out from the demands of caring for their loved one. Compassion fatigue or burnout is what happens when you become emotionally, socially, mentally and sometimes physically exhausted and this result in apathy or a lack of ability, willingness or energy to provide further attention and care. It is not that you don’t care anymore as this is a natural response to the upheaval and devastation associated with a chronic and intense situations such as withdrawal.

Before we go to self-care, let us look at the signs that indicate you are at risk of becoming burnt out. These are taken from the Recovery and Renewal book:

• • feeling tired, drained and lethargic
  • feeling overwhelmed, constantly worried and helpless
  • having frequent headaches and other minor physical complaints
  • feeling agitated or easily irritated
  • feeling sad and hopeless
  • overeating or loss of appetite
  • sleep difficulty or oversleeping
  • loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed

If you find that you are feeling overwhelmed and are struggling to continue giving the level of support you would like to, I hope the following self-care tips will be useful to you in avoiding burnout.

1. 1. First of all it is important that you do not feel guilty or that you are being selfish by acknowledging your own needs and the fact that you need support. If you do not care for yourself, you will not be able to care for your loved one either.
   2. Get proper rest. It is important to get adequate sleep and to rest at other times when you need to. Sleep deprivation and tiredness will only add to the stress of the situation and will make you less tolerant and more irritable.
   3. Eat healthily. Make sure you are taking the time to see to your nutrition needs. If you need to take supplements and add an exercise regimen, in order to have the stamina and strength to meet the demands of your role, then please do so.
   4. As regularly as you can, take time off and delegate to other family members or close friends. You must have breaks from the constant talks about withdrawal and symptoms, the constant need for reassurance, and all the things people in withdrawal do (through no fault of their own).
   5. When you do take time off, let the activities that you pursue be pleasurable. Go to a sporting event, to a concert, the cinema, a nice restaurant for a meal, for a long nature walk… do something fun, nurturing and rejuvenating.
   6. It is important to acknowledge your feelings: you may be frustrated from giving what you think is sensible advice to your loved one, but receiving no compliance, or you may be angry about the situation and the lack of understanding from the professionals who should be helping with the care of your loved one. You could feel saddened and overwhelmed by the devastation to the family that your loved one’s withdrawal has caused. Whatever your feelings are, it is important to have an outlet and to be able to share with someone, like a trusted counselor, family member or friend.

These are just a few ways in which you can look after yourself while you wait for your loved one to heal. Always, always remember that the withdrawal experience is temporary and that people eventually do heal. All the symptoms and bizarre happenings are leading your loved one to recovery and the time will come when this experience will be over, the chapter will be closed, and you, your loved one and the rest of the family will be able to let it go and move on. Easier times are ahead.